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R.I.P. Stumpy 1/6/50 - 29/10/11

R.I.P. Stumpy 1/6/50 - 29/10/11
Gone to join the great On on in the sky

Receding Hareline

  • ALL R*NS TUESDAYS AT 6.30PM UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED
  • 10th Jan - Blitzen's Baby R*n - bring a baby photo of yourself - Woodend Beach, on on at 13 Parkinson Place
  • 17th Jan - Firkin - Delamain, details TBA
  • 24th Jan - Navigator and Nice But... - venue TBA

Friday, 2 December 2011

Garbage for 22nd November

Version One
I am too shagged... blah blah blah... sfdgsgfgfd.... and all anticipated the excitement of Orful Fuk’s kitchen!
So when the actual Scribe forgets to come to hash it is a JM’s responsibility to appoint a suitable candidate for the job. So when this appointment fails to occur due to an advanced state of inebriation one must force ones fingers deep into ones gullet in an attempt to regurgitate some nonsensical mish-mash of what did and didn’t occur.
Its great having runs far out in the country, but the navigation proved difficult for the FrigidDigit/Bagshag combo who got lost and ran out of fuel, before having to take a ride back to Clarkville in a horse float that was carrying a dead mare back into town for dismemberment. They did make it to the run though which was a little late to get started due to a general lack of enthusiasm for trail and hashers just shagging about drinking piss. Although Dagy wasn’t there in body, he was in spirit because he had provided 2 handfuls of wood-shavings which OrfulFuk used to set the entire trail, including a wankers/real hashers split! So with weapons in hand and correct shoes on feet we headed off along ditches, across paddocks, through, over or around fences until coming upon a farmhouse where we interrupted a farmers daughter sunbathing topless in the backyard! Err, sorry about that! WoWo didn’t notice though as he had found and engine-less Series 1 Landrover, which he was planning to repower with a Briggs & Stratton lying nearby. And this was pretty much where the 2 handfuls of wood-shavings trail came to an end. With wankers heading west and real hashers heading east and a seething white-water to the south trail had vanished? Or, was never laid? At this point Pulled Out disappeared as well, although JustNoze wasn’t worried because he had the car keys. As we stumbled about aimlessly, thoughts started turning to survival rather than finding trail. There’s something about drinking your own urine which makes you get up and think; I can do this! So with renewed gusto the hash tribe reunited atop the stopbank and with Gloworm striding ahead the 1st P.S was found. Abuse and profanity was hurled at OrfulFuk for his invisible trail but this soon melted away with the warmth and comfort of beer on the tonsils. A 2nd P.S was held on a roadside shortcut back to the Grand Palace, where Pulled Out was waiting for us explaining that she had found a stray cat on trail and had gone to find the owner. Which she did successfully, bless her.
The Fines circle was an extensive affair, carried out by Pulled Out with a cameo from Workashirka as guest fines-master. OrfulFuk was fined for shitty trail. We had overseas visitors from Qatar Hash; Takin the Piss (thanks for the hash shirt!) and Viagra. Oddjob from Dorkland. Klingon turned 21. Octopussy has moved to CHCH JUST so she could hash with GCH3. Navigator and OneLoos displayed excessive concern that we didn’t have a fines master and 007 got dobbed in for responding to the cry of; “Dad!”
Wank Plank had to self award the condom as he never wore it on the run. Dumb-ass!
For dinner we enjoyed a concoction of jungle curries and rice which shut everybody up for 5 minutes before grabbing a roadie and heading to the WedgE-mobile.
OnOn
Worm
P.S: Get ur Xmas Doo Tickets from RLD. Now! Go on u slack pricks!

Version Two

Hey folks

Sorry this is late - I forgot to appoint anyone to do it!

Note about tonight's run at 26 Bideford Place: Please rememer to come up
Gayhurst Road going north and at the McBratneys Rd roundabout, ignore the
'road closed' sign and drive in anyway.

Garbage for 22 Nov:

A motley crew assembled at Orful Fuk's flat way out in Clarkville, refusing
to be overly impressed by his upmarket snacks (salami, crackers, popadoms,
etc...mmm) and his flashy dribble-dropper. Virgins are always out to create
a good first impression!

The run headed off at a tardy 7pm or therabouts, and was off to a good
start, with plenty of shiggy and off-roading - evidently Orful had actually
listened to Navi's religious advice (does anyone else...?). There was a
runners/walkers split, the walkers appropriately being taken through fields
full of cow dung - serves the lazy shits right!

The runners followed clearly laid trail up stop banks, down shingle tracks,
through the woods to...nothing!

Increasingly frantic searching, wading through swamp, climbing banks and
zigzagging across roads failed to locate the mysterious trail.

And then it happened...The night began to turn ominously dark....One by one,
the runners disappeared...just as if the woods were inhabited by a
malevolent force. Like a scene from the Blair Witch Project. Until, at last,
only a plaintiff "are you? Are you?" could be heard, slowly fading away in
the distance until cold silence reigned...

That's the end of my garbage on the trail, as I never did find the rest of
it. I did have a good time communing with the horses on the way back.

F8ines:
- Orful Fuk - shitty trail, lack of trail
- Pulled Out - failing to properly read the invisible trail and
magically
know her way to the piss stop (perhaps I should have sniffed it out)
- Visitors - there were two but I don't remember their names - one
from UK
and one from the US I think...?
- Wank Plank: nearly cauising a plane crash by flashing his tackle.
Apparently it is almost visible from space!
- Wank Plank - not bringing condom
- Bag Shag - ??? Something to do with a previous run?
- Several others, I forget

The night finished with an outstanding feast, including 3 kinds of marinated
roast pork, roast jacket spuds with tasty dips, several varieties of Asian
dishes for the veggies, plus a lot more - and even ice cream to finish

On on!


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Winter Camp 2009

19-21st June 2009

This years event was back at the venue of the first Winter Camp - Glenroy Baptist Camp. It is such a popular camp we had to book it over a year out! We had hashers from all over coming to this event - Auckland, Nelson, Wellington, Mount, New Plymouth, Hamilton, Rotorua, Taupo and Chch! The event ended up with over 50 attendees, which was a really good turnout. The first visitors arrived thurs night and were hosted at Dagy's, RLD's and Mee Mee's. Dagy's preamble drinks and sing-a-long at his place was very noisy and had a few hangovers before the weekend even started! Friday saw a couple of winery tours before getting to the venue and the last visitor arriving at 8.30pm. All had alot of fun friday night drinking, playing table tennis, dancing, singing, tampolining, eating and sleeping (some alot earlier than others)! Drinking games while playing table tennis were big for the night... although it seemed more was spilled than drunk! There was dinner and supper to keep all those munchies at bay. Saturday morning saw a start with breakfast and a few more drinks before the run start. Everyone(other than those too hungover to leavve bed) was piled into vehicles and driven to the run start near Horata. The run went around Horata and into some wet river territory. It was here Xerox got thrown into the river and split open his knee on rocks, and was taken by Vasie to A&E - we didnt see them again till much later on! We also lost Dagy and Phlonker on the run (they didnt make the 3rd PS and circle), and they ended up running (haha) back to the venue while a search party was out looking for them. We had the boat races - which Nelson H3 won (the NZGM's couldnt win this one even with a bit of rigging!). It was more drinking and playing and singing to guitars till getting ready for dinner. Dinner was in theme - ficticious characters - and it was amazing who came to dinner... see photos for this one! After dinner the numbers seemed to die off and only the hardy survuved another night of partying (or those that turned up for sat night only)! Another late night and an early rise for breakfast and the recovery run. This run took everyone up to the memorial for the NZGM's fines and a few others. The view of the mountains was quite spectacular. Dagy and Xerox wandered off into the distance with their guitars singing 'words' - but they did come back eventually! Time to pack up, clean up and head off home... well so I thought until we stopped at the Horata pub to a load of hashers all drinking and singing to guitars! Cant we get enough at the weekend!! On till next year... and maybe snow then!

Thanks to those that helped set up and clean up the venue, and a big thanks to our chefs - Hayley and her mum!

ON-ON
DRINKERS WITH A RUNNING PROBLEM
Screaming Mee Mee
s.meemee@xtra.co.nz

INTERHASH PERTH

There were a few Cantabrians off to Oz to enjoy the Interhash of 2008. Some had been to one before and others hadn't.... it was to be an adventure! There were preambles all over the place, that some went to , while others flew straight to Perth to take in the scenery and atmosphere. RLD was a true Crusaders supporter and flew to Perth in time to go see them play there. I decided on the Syndey preamble, so I could catch up with my old flatmate KT and a few others I knew would be there. Got in some sightseeing and 2 runs before heading to Perth and the preambles there. I had hooked up wityh Pearl in Sydney, so went with him to the preambles.... Freemantle tues, Fat Cats and Freemantle Bunny runs wed, Red Dress Run thurs, Hammersley run fri... all that before the event kicked off at 6pm friday night! The venue, the racecourse, had no idea what alcohol consumption 5,000 hashes could do and I heard they ran out of wine on the fri night that was to last the whole weekend!!! (They did get more however!) The venue had to close each night due to alcohol licencing in WA so some pubs were full till they closed, and then hotel rooms were a drinking place till sleep was required. There was lots to see and do around Perth as well as the runs that had been planned for us all. I ended up helping on regos thurs and fri mornings and helped at the Hammersley run site sat and sun. It was great fun and good to make new friends and reaquaint with old ones. It was sad when it was all over, but a welcome relief to be back in my own bed and get a good nights sleep! Those Chch people that went were: RLD, Dagy and Fingers, EmDef and Dezert, White Pointer, MILF, Mole and Mrs Whippy, Unik, One Loos and Blitzen, and myself(Mee Mee) . Jitterbug was there as an ex Chch H3er. So if you want some stories and what Interhash is like, talk to these people. The next one is in Kuching, Borneo in 2010, so start saving now!!!

Ancient Garbage

GARBAGE FOR: 30th November - One Loos - Woodend Beach .. Well I have just remembered I volunteered to write this... as Dogs wasnt there and Gloworm's email is still down! Not sure how much I will help with knowing where the run went as I got lost and missed BOTH PS's! Darn it! I was organising myself and 3 dogs when the pack disappeared into the forest. Missin Linc and Oxy had hung back helping get the booze in One Loos's van and so the 3 of us and 3 dogs headed into the forest after the others had disappeared. We heard a little bit of calling to start with but then NOTHING! We had trail for a while too and then NOTHING! Oops! We figured we did a long cut as we stuck to sandy track and looped around and connected with trail again. We had no idea if the short and long split had already happened or not, so we just carried on. After a while we had a very slobbery Gremmie come running up behind us and then disappear again. He had gone to get Gloworm who was on trail behind us. We made the mistake here of following the dogs and lost trail again. I decided to carry on and see if trail came back out onto the sand track we were on, while Linc, Oxy and Gloworm waited for a call.... and that was the last time I saw the until back at the cars. I found trail again and followed it and ended up back where I had already been. After more trail following and a tx from One Loos asking where I was I decided to head back to the cars.... luckily I knew what way that was! Back at the cars and I got there jst as Dagy and SIF headed out of the forest and went to look at machinery on the side of the road. I then saw runners coming down the road and then One Loos's van. On back to One Loos's recently regained home and we met Blitzen with wine in hand to greet us. Since it was StAndrews day Dagy and Fingers had worn kilts and had a drop to share, and One Loos had prepared haggis for dinner (a vegetarian version of course). Fingers ran the circle and roped in SIF as honorary Fines master. Fines ; One Loos - hare Pulled Out - 1/4 century (25runs for those that need to know) SIF and Dagy - blind following the blind! Vanessa? - neighbour (coming to see what it was all about) Missin Link - lost property Fingers - stolen property.... and WOWO for lost property Pulled Out and Just Noze - for forgetting plate and cutlery Fingers - couldnt find trail 007 - going wrong direction Vasie - making the trail this week XBox - abandoning a hobbling Vasie Dagy - blood on trail Labrat - shortcutting to PS Oxy & Gloworm - wannabe truckers! Condom was given to SIF by Mee Mee to ensure he had some hash gear on!

GARBAGE FOR: 23rd November - SIF - Governors Bay Let’s keep this short…. After a GREAT xams do (yes I do remember I was there – for those who asked or cared….).. it was with a degree of apprehension that I arrived at Governors Bay for SIF’s r*n .. Apprehension?? Why.. well just look up at them there steep “mountains” and rock faces.. and knowing SIF’s pleasure at inflicting pain… The group arrive in dribs & drabs.. Linc being LATE too… and the “in” topic of conversation was “D & V” after the xmas doo.. and the hours spent on the loo.. SIF broke runners & walkers into gave groups .. gave runners some pretty elaborate instructions including “wait 5 minutes before starting” .. then loaded the walkers into a van & drove off… The “there are no rules in hash rule applied”, so runners started right away.. and YES it was STRAIGHT up.. up ..up.. AND KEEP GOING UP .... On the way UP we lost Lusty.. she got attracted to a “tooter” in a van (SIF in disguise) .. First real PS on top of a rock face millions of feet up in the “mountains”… Daggy had played mountain goat and back-packed a chilly bin of drinks/chips/bananas/.. all the way up for us.. At the PS we discovered Lusty MISSING.. Dogs & Navi went off to find her.. Navi retuned.. Dogs followed Lusty’s scent all the way to OH….. It was On HOME for all those on the mountain top ….. all the way DOWN!!!!.. Lots of shagging around waiting at the reserve by the Fire stations for the group to return .... but the dogs enjoyed it.. Straight to the fines: A few from the book & JM…, UC.. not signing in.. Legg 11 for Just Noz.. (he tried to avoid this by counting runs..8 -9-10- and what comes next for Just Noz. In his counting “ 9”) .. so he was “legs 11’d” by Fingers, Lab Rat and a good solid slobbering by Gremmie… Other fines.. SIF, Navi, the “Cheer leaders” – Labrat &Vasse (for YMCA impersonation), Navi… Condon to MeeMee.. because I could… Shorts (complete with pricks…) not present Health food sandwiches followed, with special COLD weather turned on by SIF, to get people to bugger off…. ONON.. Dogs Bollocks

GARBAGE FOR: 16th November - Dagy - Halswell Quarry, main entrance off Kennedys Bush Rd Realised I had better write this as noone else who does the trash was there! …Dawny had certainly made sure the weather was good for us even thou he couldnt be there! YAY for the RA! We had a visitor, Headshot, and a few returnees but not many runners! Dagy had to talk someone into doing the runners trail... these chosen ones were Fingers, One Loos and Lusty! The runners did a loop of the conservation area (or somewhere near there, but they got their feet wet) while the walkers headed up the hill and around the rim track! Dagy must have thought it might rain as there was a lot of flour put down for the trail! We found a halt around the top and admired the view, while Vasie and XBox located mountains according to the map. We stopped till all known walkers were there and then headed off, getting passed by 007 (who obviously didnt hold the halt for the runners) before we headed up thru the paddock to the first PS. The remaining runners then saw us drinking and short cutted to the PS. Frigid and Bag Shag made an appearance here and tried to befriend a dog as it ran thru the paddock, but once it had a closer look it decided to return home! The PS had some yummy mushroom lollies and some good conversation while we waited for 007 to get there! On we went out onto Kennedys Bush Road and up to the end. The runners had a detour down and around us, but since Dagy was later than us to the 2nd PS it dodnt matter. Here IS and Supreme caught up with us on bikes and joined us for the rest of the night. Dagy brought a beer for a thirsty passing biker and then we were all on back to the Quarry carpark. Here Tuga made an appearance... on wheels! Back at the house and Vasie and Fingers were already busy in the kitchen. Dagy decided to smoke out the granny flat, rather than the house, with the BBQ while SIF kept him company! Just before the fines circle Sister Maureen showed up so more food was quickly put on! Fingers ran a great quick circle with Firkin roped in as honorary Fines Master. Supreme was on 299 runs and Oxy on 699 runs Vasie was caught running 007 got his belated legs 11 inspection from Vasie and Lusty Lusty was great at first aid The wheels got fined Vasie got fined cause Firkin could! there were more, but cant remember (getting old) Dont forget to bring a $5 pressie for the santa sack for those going to the xmas do!!!! on on Mee Mee

GARBAGE FOR: 9th November - MILTF - 9A Pandora St, North Beach "Just PATHETIC!!!!!!!!" That’s what much of last nights r*n was… apart from the trail and the food. In keeping with this, I am deliberately writing a "Pathetic Garbage" What made it PATHETIC???? · the normal flock of late arrivals · the 1851 start · MeeMee & Labrat arriving, then using work as an excuse not to do the run, then turning up for the onon · head wind ALL the way on the run · Linc & Daggy not making ANY PS · walkers not going to the 2nd PS · the old farts who thought the music at 2nd PS was TOO LOUD · MILF being late back to here own place after the 2nd PS · Navi & Lusty leaving before the fines The FINES were PATHETIC TOO!!!! What made them PATHETIC???? · JM couldn’t organise the
circle · MILF got lost going to the circle · Only 1 book fine from the JM · Fines masters only fining: · Late "returner's" from the run.. WooWoo, Geestring, Frigid, Bagshag, Gloworm · Linc & Daggy for not making ANY PS · Fining all the "Pathetci" hashers who were there. · A new "Spit the Dummy" award initiated by the JM… he awarded it to himself!!! just PATHETIC .. The PATHETIC night continued ….. with Oxy arriving just for a feed!!! …. PATHETIC.. AND Finding out that "PATHETIC" is Lincs favourite word… well that really "PATHETIC"

2nd November - Gloworm - McLeans Island Rd, on on 75 Teesdale St Almost forgot to write this.... 9 puppies are very distracting! I slowed down as I neared the hump on McLeans Is road, and it felt like I was being watched as hashers looked to see if there was any air or scrapes! A good crowd had gathered already including One Loos and Blitzen (its been 6 months) and a newbie Elliot (encouraged along by Gloworm). After some catch up chats and nearly going deaf from the rifle range, we headed into the forest. There was a runners and walkers trail - runners denoted by 3 blobs of flour in a row, and walkers had one blob. Both trails had checks and FT's and even when the trails intersected there was different trail for each to follow.... must have taken a long time to set, and used a lot of flour!!! There was only one PS and we knew it would be near the water, so we carried on thru FT's and lost trails... we are a tough bunch of walkers!! The walkers got to the PS first, but the runners werent far behind. After a liesurely drink we took the shortest trek back to the cars. When I got back to the car park everyone was milling around waiting for Gloworm to reappear with the booze. I repeated GLoworm's words at the PS ' see you all at home', and that got everyone in their cars. Back at Teesdale St we said hello to the chef, Labrat, and got cosy in the house. The BBQ was lit and it wasnt long before Bag Sh-g and Oxy were behind the tongs! Fingers ran the circle and Dagy was made finesmaster as the appointed 2 were absent. Some fines were: One Loos - 200runs One Loos, Blitzen, Dingaling and STD - returners Labrat - wiping Gremmies nose with a tissue Fingers - asking where the onon was, when we were already there (she meant fines) Elliot then got named 'Sweaty Tease' after stripping off a sweaty T in front of Vasie and Fingers The meal was then ready... lots of salads and BBQ meat. Everyone gradually disappeared home as it was past bedtime!! on on Mee Mee

GARBAGE FOR: 007's City R*n

Well I got a tx from GLoworm late last night saying he cant write the trash as no internet at home.... so juat as well I am sick at home today and can write a brief blurb (and it will be brief)

007's city run

I was running late, but never mind, I was the cook for the evening. I got to the venue b4 everyone else and started cooking the chicken. The booze soon arrived and others found the trail in from Durham St to flat 15 with a well marked trail!

007 commented to me that he had mis-calculated how much chalk he had and was scraping fingernails along the ground near the end of trail.... so I wasnt surprised when some hashers got lost! The runners seemed to find the trail fine and got to the one and only PS(outside the avenues), but the walkers were scattered around the city. By the time we started the fines we were only missing WorkaShirka, Labrat, Frigid and Supa Sucker... but dont panic... thy arrived during the fines and got fined!

We had a huge turnout for our "PINK" run and had a complaint from one neighbour before we even started! It was a great number for all proceeds being donated to breast cancer research - $110 from night fee, and $17 from Supa's brownies (more to come from 007's workmates - hopefully). It was very nice of Supa to turn up on a tuesday and bring brownies to purchase for a donation to the cause! And they were very yummy too!!

We had a few monday nighters make a showing and a few tuesday ones that hadnt been for a while. It made 007's small unit look like a sardine tin!

It was a very scrummy feed of chicken and salad, with pink lamington and rocky road mallowpuffs to follow!

GARBAGE FOR:

Brunhilda & Navigator Lyttelton

AND!!!!!

12 Oct - Just Noze Rockinghorse Rd

Brunhilda & Navigator - MeeMee’s version…. (Dogs warning .. it’s a thorough report!!!)Right... I had right of reply to Labrats rendition of Navi's run at Brunhilda's... so here it is...

Wee Knackers was minus transport so he hitched a ride with me... he trusted me so much that it wasnt until we were well on the way that he asked where we were going! I could have taken him anywhere!!! Lol!

Ended up at Brunhilda's before 6.30pm. The drive was already full with 2 vans and a station wagon... Navi was parked just outside the gateway and I took the other side of it. We were in time to help carry the chilly bins to the barn and start the nights conversations. Slowly everyone arrived and once the barn had been scrutinised we were given instructions for the run. Since Navi had sent such an ellaborate email on the run and how to get there I wasnt paying that much attention. Off we went thru the gate opposite Brenchley Farm... we met Labrat, Gloworm and Gremmie (who were late) in the road. Gloworm was more worried about getting a drink than were we were all going or where his dog was. I got told to hang back a bit and let the runners do the checking... and while I was chatting to Gloworm I noticed Linc and Loco hangig around the gate part way up the hill. Next thing the runners came charging back along the track and past us... it was like a stampede so we just got out of the way! I hung back with Loco and Linc in case there were more shortcuts to be had. Over a wooden style and we admired a small gate in the middle of the fence (and I mean that... it was in the middle of the fence). The runners were well ahead by now but we caught up with Xbox and the other walkers. By the water tank there was a runners/ walkers split that took the walkers down and the runners up. We could hear the runners for a bit and then again while we were busy looking for our own trail at the road. Lusty checked up... saw the runners...and deserted us! Linc found the trail down and off we went. Around the corner was a very large PS and we saw a flashing light in the distance. Only a few runners bet us to the PS and we relaxed while the others arrived. Gremmie thought about trying to break the record for the height a dog can jump from... but a united 'no Gremmie' from us at the PS saved him... not that GLoworm even noticed what the fuss was about! Labrat was sweeping the runners..it was more that she didnt see the split!... so we were all accounted for once she arrived.

The next part of the run had runners heading west, while the walkers headed east... with a hint about the dead centre of town. Odd Job (007's son visiting from Auckland) decided to be a walker for this leg and we made use of his fittness at the checks. Once again I found myself at the back of the group with Linc and Loco as we went thru an old cemetary. We were reading some of the headstones and making a few comments. We got a little history lesson from Loco..... and we didnt see anyone that had lived longer than him!

We found the flashing light again and the PS. The runners seemed to have got a bit confused but made it there. Fingers knew someone in the "other" cemetary so took off to visit. When it was time we got sent on UP UP UP the hill to home. Dagy decided to be a loving husband and go and find his beloved wife (in case he got in trouble for leaving her out in the dark).

Back at home we all signed in the book... Fingers was back... but where was Dagy?? She hadnt seen him but wasnt happy as he had the car keys and the money! We started the fines as we had waited long enough... and then Dagy strolled in like nothing was wrong!
I cant recall the fines as it was too long ago but once they were over we had a very YUMMY feed that Brunhilda had prepared!!!

bit more chatting and it was time for everyone to head home.... Thanks for the awesome run Navi, and the awesome feed Brunhilda! Lets hope its not too long before we head to Lyttelton again!

On on Mee Mee

12 Oct - Just Noze Rockinghorse Rd
Well, I ask, who is going to read all that!!!

Dogs version of Just Noze run….

It was good, it was a “sort of” trail.. sort of marked with flour on sand… every 300m or so.. it had splits for walkers and runners, and a new special split for “individuals” .. i.e. those who just want to go their own way!!! (daggy, lusty and SIF), on a very scenic route (.. oooppsss … not suggesting anything - stop those filthy thoughts)

Straight to the fines:

Fine with a twist…

· What should Link, Navi, Milf, frigid, and Dogs be fined for??? Being on TIME

· What should Daggy, Lusty & SIF be fined for??? Not team players.. doing there own thing

A few other fines.. the most interesting .. Just Noze for laying trail with a “dribble DRAPPER” .. MAYBE that explains the trail issues..

Condon to LINK… (the Condon came with free water for links head)

Shorts (complete with pricks…) Lusty…